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I don't like my son-in-law or his family, should i avoid them? answers (475268)

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I have a disabled brother who I take care of. He receives SSI disabilty and is eligible for Medicaid. I would like to leave some money in trust for him, but I don''t want my doing so to effect his benefits. Can I do this?

A:  Very generally, there has been a development of what is referred to as a ''special needs trust''. Money can be left to X in trust for your brother *with a special restriction* that it cannot be used for items that could be met by governmental programs (of course the language is more complicated than that, but that''s the purpose).I''ve used this for situations to provide what I refer to as the ''niceties'' that are not covered by such programs -- from beauty parlor to a companion to take for a walk, or to read to them.This is best done with an individual trustee although some states (e.g. Illinois) have developed combined funds. So you need an individual you trust, and a lawyer to set it up -- check for a trusts and estates or elder law attorney in your area. --...

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I keep getting these proposals and sums of money from people in Nigeria that their wanting me to confirm but i don''t know if their trying to scam me or not. So i was wondering what is that i should do about it because i get them every day even if i don''t reply to them, and some of them say that the documentation has already been done i just need to claim it using my name, address, country, etc. But I don''t know if its a scam or not, what should i do? is there anyway i can figure out if its for real or not?

A:  It is a scam. They want your account numbers, personal information, and/or money. Why would someone in Nigeria want to give you millions of dollars? If it sounds too good to be true.......

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I halfheartedly agreed to take my husbands last name, but I do not like my father-in-law who has the same name?

A:  I know how you feel. I love my husband''s last name, but his father and grandfather are/were not good people. His dad is a jerk who constantly causes family feuds (not with me, but in general), who cheated on his wife then (not to mention his new wife now) and tore apart a few families. His grandfather was a pedophile who tried to rape my MIL. Needless to say, I don''t like where he got the name. BUT it''s also my loving husband''s name. And he will restore it just by being the great person he is, so I am proud to have his name, because it links me to him :) I think your last name has nothing to do with your father-in-law and more to do with your husband. You say that you never really wanted to change your last name, which makes me wonder if you are just looking...

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I am adopted and i don''t like my birth family?

A:  It''s personal choice. I know I''ll never forgive my mom for abandoning me, although I can just about forgive my dad ''cause he didn''t really get much say in the matter. I can understand intellectually why her abandoning me was ''for the best'', but just no, it really really wasn''t. Stop putting on a show. If you aren''t honest with them about how this has affected you, then you can''t expect them to know how you truly feel about it. Talk to them, and be honest with them, and tell them that you''re hurting from it - humans tend not to be very capable of mind-reading, in general. :) Choosing to forgive them or not is completely up to you. You may not want to now, but maybe you will in years to come..there is nothing wrong with not. Why do are you forced to see them? Have you told your...

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Is it kidnapping if I don''t bring my son back to his mom?--Q

A:  I think you should talk to your PO and see what he says I also think it is you favor that there is no offical court order. I am not sure where you live, but you could also call the court house and speak to child services and see if they could help you. Also check into free legal aid to see they can help you with the custody order and you may not need to pay. I do agree with you that you need get the child out of her care. The grandmother may not be able to move with the child out of the state is the mother moving with them ??? Good Luck margie i am not an attorney Was paternity ever established? Did you sign the birth paperwork? What state are you in? Depending on your answers to these, then I can help you more. At any rate, if mom has all these issues, why...

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I didn't tell my employer about a physical disability... What should I do now?

A:  While you neglected to mention the disability, I do not think your employer can fire you. I say this because under the law (Americans with Disabilities Act-ADA) and other state laws, discrimination on the basis of disability is not permitted in most cases. I say most cases here because an employer may claim that a certain job requirement is a "bona fide occupational qualification" (BFOQ) and if you do not have that requirement, discrimination on the basis of that one requirement should be permitted. For example, if part of the job description is that you have to run a mile every day and you cannot even with accomodation, then it would not be discrimination not to hire you, because running is a BFOQ. There is always a gray area. For example, as a gas station attendant, you may...

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I am tired of my Mother in law always treating my wife as if she''s straight and single.?

A:  All 3 of you should sit down together and talk about how her own mother doesn''t even accept her own daughter for being a lesbian in the first place. That''s discrimination and it''s wrong! Because she''s not only manipulating her daughter into going against you on what you say about her, but she''s also lying her. If she likes you, then why is she so ashmed of who you are and wanting it to be kept a secret? And if your partner continues to be influenced by the lies her mother tells her and leaves you aside, then you need to move on and be a part of a family that accepts you for who you are and not judge you by your sexuality. This is what''s in this life and people need to get a grip and get over it. It''s a way of life, we''re not from a different species. I''m...

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Is it weird I am friendly with my brother in law''s ex wife?

A:  No it''s not weird ..I ''m still friend with people in my family that has divorced.My uncle and aunt divorced we still call her auntie still get together on holidays and birthdays..Just because her and my uncle could not get alone and divorced does not mean the rest of the family has to cut her off. It''s not that weird to have a friendly relationship in this situation. I''d just try to avoid talking about the brother in law to her or have an event where both would be in the same place. No it''s her husband''s brothers'' ex-wife.....lol..... Oh and it don''t matter what the extended family thinks as long as your husband and his brother are okay with it.... And it''s actually very nice of you especially for the the children involved. Wouldn''t that make her your...

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My husband to be wants to "eat me out" on our wedding night? I don''t like this idea.?

A:  If you''re not okay with it - you''re not okay with it - and he needs to respect that. ESPECIALLY on your wedding night, you really shouldn''t be doing anything that one of you isn''t comfortable with. His heart is probably in the right place (well - okay - maybe he wants his HEAD to be :) ) but still, he needs to respect that you''re not comfortable with it. Tell him you need time, and you definitely don''t want to be pressured into something - especailly not on your wedding night. Hope it helps! EDIT: I very much disagree with those that tell you to ''go ahead and let him''. A wedding night - especially when you''re a virgin - isnt'' the time to let him do it to you. Wait a week or two - whatever. I don''t understand those that say that you should do something that you''re not ready for....

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I don''t trust my fiancee with this guy, i think she might cheat! Advice?

A:  She''s allowed to have male friends, that shouldn''t be an issue. But, she should not be friends with a man who has feelings for her. It''s disrespectful to your relationship and it''s unfair to lead the guy on. Sit down with her and have a serious talk about this. She needs to realize what a mess this situation is going to create. Even if she has no intention of cheating she''s still hurting you, that should matter to her. She''s already cheating! Simply, walk AWAY with NO regret. There are PLENTY ladies out there for you to select. I don''t think you have much of a future with her, because trust is such an important part of a committed relationship. My guess is, if you really were able to trust her, you would have already married her. Lots of women have male friends, but when the male...